The Cow's Moo
by protejerinnocencia
Summary: Post season 8. Paige is preoccupied and makes a bad potion. The results are rather unsettling for the Halliwell sisters


The Cow's Moo

Paige dropped a handful of herbs into the black cauldron and coughed as smoke billowed up. She hated that part of potion making. As she waved the smoke out of her eyes she stared down at the goopy substance that coated the cauldron. Somehow she didn't think it was right. It wasn't supposed to be so pale.

"I give up!" she muttered, throwing her arms up in defeat.

With a sigh, she began to empty the cauldron out. There was a large glob of it stuck to the bottom so she ended up in the kitchen scraping it out.

"This is so gross," she whined to herself only to be answered moments later.

"What did you do?" Piper asked, peering over her sister's shoulder.

"I was a little distracted and I botched the potion," Paige answered.

"Have fun cleaning that," her older sister chuckled as she grabbed a cookie from the cooling tray on the counter.

"Thanks. No offer to help?" Paige called as Piper walked out.

"You botch it. You clean it," she shot back.

Paige rolled her eyes and continued scrubbing but it was not doing anything. Suddenly an idea struck her and she poured some water into the cauldron and it loosened the sludge on the bottom up significantly. Happily, the whitelighter reached for the closed container to poor the excess in. Piper had berated her enough over the years about pouring potions down the sink. Jingling caused her to jump.

"Yeah, yeah hang on!" she shouted to the ceiling before setting the glass of potion on the counter and orbing out.

The water had mixed in well with the potion and the goopy texture had disappeared. Unfortunately for the person walking into the kitchen, the fact that it was a watered down potion was a mystery. Phoebe strolled in dressed in long pants and a sleeveless shirt. She headed to the fridge, longing for a glass of milk when she caught sight of the glass on the counter. Raising her brow she picked up and not thinking about whose it was or what it was, she downed it. She nearly gagged at the taste.

"Piper?" she called after setting down the glass.

"What?" her older sibling asked, appearing in the doorway.

"I think the milk's expired," Phoebe told her, looking a little green.

"I bought milk this morning."

"Well it tastes disgusting." Piper saw the glass and groaned.

"You didn't happen to drink from that glass did you?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"That was a potion Paige messed up!" Piper railed.

"Oh God," Phoebe gasped before turning around and retching in the previously cleaned out cauldron. Once Phoebe had stopped dry heaving she turned to face Piper. Her sister's eyes bulged to the size of gold dollars.

"What?" Phoebe asked and jumped at the sound of her voice. She had just mooed like a cow.

"Phoebe…honey. You're a cow," Piper said in a shaky voice.

"Are you calling me fat?" Phoebe mooed back.

"No. You really are a cow," the eldest living Halliwell remarked, finding a mirror.

"Oh my God! Get Paige!" Phoebe screamed.

"Paige!" Blue and white orbs materialized to form their baby sister.

"Wha-…why is there a cow in the kitchen?" she asked nervously.

"Phoebe drank your potion and this is what happened," Piper snapped.

"What!" Paige cried, her face going pale.

"Change me back!" the cow called.

"I…I don't know how to," Paige sobbed, tears spilling from her eyes.

"I need to go outside," Phoebe announced suddenly.

"Why?" Piper asked flatly.

"Well I don't think you want me to take a shit on the kitchen floor," Phoebe answered in a long moo.

"Uh, ok. Paige can you maybe orb her outside. To the backyard," Piper queried.

"Sure," Paige replied, wiping the tears away.

"Backyard," she called and Phoebe disappeared in orbs. Piper and Paige rand outside to see their sister grazing happily on the grass.

"Well at least she'll cut down some of the weeds," Paige said with a smile.

"She's not staying a cow," Piper muttered and pushed the door open. Phoebe looked up.

"You aren't going to milk me are you?" she asked through a mouthful of grass. Piper wrinkled her nose.

"No!"

"Good."

"Hey, why don't we go for a walk? Maybe it will help us figure this whole thing out," Paige suggested. She received a skeptical look from Piper and…well she wasn't sure what look Phoebe was going for. Piper rolled her eyes but led Phoebe around the side of the house and out onto the sidewalk. The threesome began to meander down the road, receiving odd stares from passersby. One gentleman stopped in his car.

"What are you staring at buddy?" Piper snapped.

"Yeah. Haven't you even seen two people out walking their pet cow?" Paige added. The man just gave them a nervous glance and drove off.

"Pet! I'm not your pet. This is you fault!" Phoebe snapped, nibbling on Paige's hair.

"Ow! I'm sorry. I'm trying to think but chewing on me doesn't help," Paige whined.

"Could you make the potion again and botch it? Maybe that would turn her back," Piper proposed as they headed back towards the Manor.

"I don't think I could do it again. Not the exact same way at least," Paige admitted. As they headed back around the house a bright light appeared out of it stepped Coop. His eyebrows shot up when he saw Phoebe.

"Would someone like to explain why my wife is a cow?" he asked.

"Paige's fault," Phoebe mooed at him.

"I see," he murmured.

"Can you help change her back?" Paige begged.

"I can try. What turned her anyway?" he responded.

"Bad potion."

Coop nodded that he understood and closed his eyes, reaching out his hands to lay them on his wife. Her eyes shot out as wide as they could go, for a cow, and she began to change. After five more minutes she was back to her old self. She rounded on Paige and gave her a slap on the arm.

"I said I was sorry. You didn't have to hit me," she whined.

"Don't leave potions sitting out like that. Nothing good can ever come of it," her older sister chided.

"Well I figured you'd look at it before just drinking it. And I'm sorry but my charge was panicking," she shot back.

"Ok. Ladies back to your corners," Coop intervened.

"It was an accident and you both learned something from it. So next time Pheebs, be more careful with things lying around the house. And Paige try to clean up everything before you leave," he continued.

The two younger Halliwells smiled at each other, sharing a silent forgiveness.


End file.
